Those of you that know me are probably aware that I'm an atheist. So, when we were invited to a christening today, my feelings were slightly conflicted. On the one hand, it was nice that we were invited (and I am really grateful for that) on the other, I'm really not keen on religious rituals. I'd have to say that christenings are (of those that I'm familiar with, anyway) my least favourite.
Anyway, we dutifully traipsed off to the church this morning. First thing I noticed was that I appeared woefully under-dressed in my usual flared cords and a shirt and sweater combo (for smartness, you see). So that was great. Never mind, we were hidden out of sight and far from the most important people there. As long as I could avoid heckling the minister, we wouldn't ruin the day.
I'd come to terms with the fact that the ceremony was going to be, well, religious and there'd be a lot of chat about Jesus, but my heart sank when I realised that we'd be there for longer because it's also the Girl Guides 100th anniversary.
Early on in the morning, I had a mild sense of trepidation when they marched up the aisle with some flags, one of which was a union flag (the other thing that those of you that know me are probably aware of is that I'm no patriot). At that point, not really being that well-versed in how the guides work, I thought, be fair...perhaps that's all there is to it.
So...the service could start in earnest...there was some praying, hymns and finally, the reason we were there: the christening. It was fine, passed off without incident. Although when the minister walked up the aisle to display the newly inducted Nathan, I was more than a little disappointed that the minister didn't start cackling madly and break into a sprint, clutching the child to her bosom, screaming "he's my child now" trying to make her escape, only to be thwarted by a quick thinking parishioner tripping her up and catching the baby as he flew from her arms. Bring a bit of action and heroism to the day. Unfortunately, the only place this happened was in my imagination. On the plus, I'm marginally less depressed about my impending 31st birthday. At least I still have my imagination! Hurrah!
After the christening celebrations finished, we moved on to the matter of the 100th anniversary of the founding of the guides. Sadly, my initial suspicions about all the flags were confirmed. Apparently they have to "be loyal to queen and country." Bleuargh. So, not only were my atheistic tendencies being tested, my republican (the form of government, rather than the swivel-necked mental cases in the US) instincts were also having to be forced down lest I ruin someone elses day...
Apart from all that...a pleasant morning all round!* Ahahaha.
*Really: I am a nice guy. It was nice for us to be invited.
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2 comments:
I know exactly how you feel Richard, the last time I was in a church I thought I may actually catch on fire.
I cant help but want to laugh at all these loonies worshiping some old guy in a book that was probably written by a bunch of guys who needed cash and a way to control the masses.
Funnily enough my verification word for this post is CULT lol
Corduroys and a sweater is under dressed for a christening? What are you supposed to wear, a three-pieced suit?
I can understand how an atheist would feel a bit weird for going to a church service. I don't think people realize there might be non-worshipers in the world. I know they certainly don't in my home town.
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